The Mask Whisperer

“Something lost? A part of yourself, perhaps? That which you seek, inside you will find.” - Yoda I saw the new Star Wars movie a few weeks ago. I enjoyed it very much mostly because it had a very spiritual, and timely, message of hope. It also had a message that the power to change anything, or overcome darkness, comes from within. Star Wars has always been about the struggle between good and evil both in the universe and with its character's internal struggles. Some struggled more than others, like Anakin Skywalker, aka: Darth Vader. Without getting too much into it, Anakin had a strong force - of good - within him when Qui-Gon Jinn, the Jedi Master, discovered the young boy. Jinn said that the force within Anakin was so strong that he was the “chosen one”, the one they’d been waiting for to restore balance in the galaxy. And then.... Anakin turned and went to the dark side, which ultimately greatly upset the balance. If you've watched all the movies, you know ...

“We lose connection with our realness when others have standards on how we should be.”  Tara Brach I’d like to say a big F-you, sayonora, and good riddance to 2017 but my therapist says that’s not nice. She says that without all the tough lessons I had this year, I would not have grown. And...she’s right (but don’t tell her that...) Every day I choose an Angel Card (see link) to give me a word, something to contemplate and guide me as the day goes on. Each year on New Year’s Day, I chose a theme word for the year and then I review it on the last day of the year. Last January I got "Education". To be honest, when I picked it, I was a little disappointed. I guess I thought the word was boring. I’m sure my angels were laughing at me then. They knew what they were doing, as always, because I definitely got an education this year! I got my PhD in me and let me tell you, it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. 2017 was a year of transitions at home and work. It was ...

"Once you choose hope, anything's possible. " Christopher Reeves My father was very sick before he passed away in the wee hours of a cold January morning nearly five years ago. During the last month of his life, he either spent a lot of time in the hospital (due to several bouts of pneumonia related to his COPD) or at the dialysis center (due to his failing kidneys). He was very sick. The doctor’s discharged him from the hospital two days before he died because he was doing a little better. They would have preferred he go to a rehabilitation center but my mom wanted him home. I sat with him the day before he died while my mom went to pick up some medicine for him. He told me, while we ate lunch, that he was not that sick and that he would be driving again very soon. He said it so emphatically as if he knew something I didn’t. Not only was he convinced that he would  be driving very soon (something he hadn’t been able to do for months before he passed) but he...

"Joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls." Mother Theresa I had someone say to me the other day that this world has no joy. Just sit with that one for a minute. No joy? Doesn’t that sound hopeless? I was left with this empty feeling in my heart and her words have reverberated in my head ever since. No joy? How sad is that?   I think that she was referring to the relentless negative news that fills our newsfeeds and how beat down she felt by it all. The media - mainstream or social - is a constant barrage of all that is wrong with the world. Climate change/natural disasters, sexual predators, shootings, animal cruelty, war, insane dictators armed with nuclear weapons....it just goes on and on. If you focus on all of that then I can imagine how one might feel there is no joy in the world. A few years ago, I bought a mantra band that says, “Choose Joy.” I wear it often as a reminder that joy is a choice. It's not something you should take for gran...

"The most important things in life are the connections you make with others." Tom Ford A few years back, maybe seven or eight, I went to Wal-Mart. It was a weekday evening and I had the kids with me. I probably needed diapers or something and that’s why I was there at night. It was busy for a weeknight and I waited for a long time in line, with three kids, and even worse...holiday shoppers. It was a of couple weeks before Christmas and people were not their best selves, let’s just put it that way. By the time I got to the cashier, I was annoyed, hot, and ready to get out of there.  “Hi.” The cashier said mechanically as she began scanning my items. I could tell that she was tired, stressed, and had probably been beaten down by customers all day. My heart went out to her. “Hi. How are you?” I said, as stood in front of her while she scanned my items. The cashier stopped and looked at me in the eyes. “You know, I’ve been here for five hours and you are t...

“No apology has meaning if we haven’t listened carefully to the hurt party’s anger and pain.” Harriet Lerner I love Brene Brown . If you aren’t familiar with her work, Google her. She has TED talks, books, a fantastic presence on Facebook, and so much more. She is a research professor at the University of Houston, an author, and speaker. The majority of her research is about vulnerability. She’s definitely worth looking into. Anyway....Brene posted a list of her favorite books recently and on that list was Harriet Lerner’s book “Why Won’t You Apologize? : Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts”. I ordered it right away and read it cover to cover in a couple of days. I won’t go into a full on review of the book but  if you do nothing else today, after reading this blog of course, buy this book and read it. As someone who witnesses people’s pain (their masks) - and who has had my fair share of it -, I can tell you that pain is as prevalent as oxygen. It’s also ...

"Before we can thread together a life that rises in the presence of sorrow we must include loving ourselves through acts of self-care." Maria Sirois. I’ve said before that masks cover the real you, and that masks are a way to protect yourself from facing your feelings - which is never a good thing. While masks can be protective, they can also prohibit your spiritual growth. And yes,  it is imperative that you grow spiritually. The problem is that when we wear masks for years we lose sight of who we really are. The first step into living a more authentic life is becoming aware of the masks you wear and when you wear them. Being aware is a very big step. The second step is learning how to love yourself. Most people don’t even know what that means, never mind how to do it. What you also may not know, is that self-love is the most important love there is. That’s because you can’t be love- ing  if you don’t love yourself. ****A word to the men reading this blog: S...