Are you ready to take off your mask?

“The soul speaks its truth only under quiet, inviting, and trustworthy conditions.” - Parker Palmer 

Who are you? Do you even know?

Authenticity is something I value tremendously, but not everyone knows what being authentic means. Not only that, but even if you do know what it means, it can be scary to live from that place.

Openness and vulnerability aren’t valued in our culture. Somewhere along the line, we were taught to hide behind masks and become the people we think people want us, or need, us to be. 

Don’t show your weakness! Don’t ask for help! Don’t be anything less than perfect! Don’t cry in public! Don’t tell anyone you did that! Don’t tell anyone you are scared! I could go on, but you get the point. We spend all of our time hiding our true self, afraid to be judged. Even worse, we don’t even know who our true self is.

Take some time to ask yourself, who am I? What do you come up with? You might say, I’m a teacher or a parent or ­­­(fill in the blank). But that isn’t who you are. Those things are hats you wear. Who you really are is the you deep down inside. The being that yearns for love, acceptance, and to be truly seen.

So you may be asking: what’s so wrong with wearing a mask? Masks can be protective! Yes, yes they can. The problem is that sometimes the mask starts to overtake you and you lose your true self in the process. Think Jim Carey in the movie...The Mask. In an attempt to conceal who he was in order to gain access to a club, Stanley (Carey) found a mask to wear. Except the mask gave him crazy (aka evil) superpowers. I’ll spare the details but ultimately he became so attached to the mask and its powers that he began to lose the sense of who he was and what he really wanted, which was the love of a woman.

Being attached to our masks is dangerous. Masks stunt the growth we are here to do. Masks also inhibit our ability to have close relationships - to be connected - with others.

As a result, we have the most disconnected society than ever before.

Ironic, isn’t it? The world is literally connected via the internet and yet we don’t even know the person sitting next to us. Nor do we care to know.

The internet provides a safety net (screens) that keeps us protected from others seeing our true emotions. Feelings? Ain’t nobody got time for that!  Therefore, we get to be whomever we want online, in the virtual world where no one gets hurt - or so we think.

The problem is that when we hide behind masks (also known as the false self) we aren’t living from that place of love that resides in all of us. By not addressing our masks, we continue to live non-authentic lives, and worse, we believe that we are alone. 

Parker Palmer writes, “The soul speaks its truth only under quiet, inviting, and trustworthy conditions.” If we don’t give our soul opportunities for quiet reflection or have someone trustworthy to share things with we struggle. We must allow our true selves come through so we can be fully seen, so we can grow and evolve. 

Ever since I can remember, I’ve been able to spot people's masks. While I realize that it is a gift, it’s also a hard cross to bear watching people pretend to be someone they aren’t. It’s also hard to watch people, desperate for love and attention, doing destructive things to themselves and others. It’s even harder when people think their masks are doing a good job hiding their true self when actually it is clear as ice. I think that’s why people feel so comfortable around me, because I’m able to see them - even if they don’t know it.

If you are struggling in any way or want to live a more authentic life, please get in touch. I would be happy to listen.